interview: doctor becca

urbandub.com's Barbara Urban Dub made an appointment to see Doctor Becca and asked her about her Musical Medicine.

Barbara: What music do you like?
Doctor Becca: That’s a good question. The kind of music I’m actually into? Let’s take it back to when I was really into music. I love The Sex Pistols and I love The Clash – the all time great bands for me, you know. I really love them. So they just had a massive effect on me and all the scene that goes with it. I was too young to actually be a proper punk, I know, but that doesn’t matter. I could give you a shopping list of bands I like, like David Bowie and I like Tom Velaine from Television. Christine Hirsch from Throwing Muses is one of my favourites and I like Sonic Youth. But that was yesteryear a really long time ago. I don’t know if I dare say this, but I can’t really say I’m a fan of music now. I can’t say that I’m really into music in quite the same way as I was then. Maybe I’ve become in to the bands that I am in as a musician and I like to actually participate in it. I don’t know if I’m a contender, but I’m definitely up there for it. It’s like I don’t like watching football, I’d rather be PLAYING it. I can’t bear to be watching it. I take it really seriously if someone says “Oh shall we go indoor climbing” – you know one of those sporty things to get together to get to know each other. The first thing I thought when someone once said that to me was “I don’t want to do artificial climbing – I want to CLIMB REAL MOUNTAINS!” So I can be a kill-joy because I take life so seriously in that way. That’s probably why I can’t find something that I’m totally INTO in the same way that I was years ago. I still enjoy music, but I haven’t let myself go in it like I used to. But going back to the question you asked: “What music do I like?”, I like IGGY POP, I’ve got to say. I LOVE IT because it’s so kind of ROCK ‘N’ ROLL and in the scene THEY MEAN IT. And also because they do great songs. I like the Clash , The Sex Pistols, there’s no doubt about it, they are so poppy and catchy. I JUST LOVE IT. I really like the Jam. You know what cracks me up about the old days. I was never totally committed to being a Mod or a Rocker. One day I would be seen wearing a trilby hat and red eyeliner to look like I was a drug addict, but I never took drugs. Then, another day I was wearing bondage or green and black leopard skin and you couldn’t find me at home. I’d be up the King’s Road, and I thought I was a Mod! You know when you sort of INTERCHANGE by the day, but not TOO MUCH out of my remit. It all meant SO MUCH in those days. The Soul Boys and The Funkatiers – they were the Smoothies. They were definitely on the other side. I could change within my sort of people but you could never cross to the other side or you would not be accepted back. “Get out of it, you’re not welcome back!” I knew a lot of GREEBOS, yeah. I like AC/DC. That’s how I first learned to dance and I knew a lot of greebos. I found my way in the Mod side because of QUADROPHENIA – I love that film, it’s so good. I think Phil Daniels from Quadrophenia is such a great actor.

Barbara: What do you think of the Urban Dub album “Illegal Immigrants”?
Doctor Becca: : Yeah, good title for an album. I can relate to the immigrants who say “I’ve got to move on here. I can’t stay here.” A restlessness and maybe a desperation. That feeling, I’m sure a lot of people get it like some energy going on, because I have to get to London before I die. “We built this city on Rock N Roll!” I feel so privileged that I am in London and some people can’t get to London. It’s “falling in love” circumstances that can make you end up in certain places and I wouldn’t change it for the world. London’s such a big thing and don’t you know it if you come here. When you get to London, you just know damn well that you’re part of something different. There’s so many opportunities, you know. I do feel there’s a love hate relationship going on with most people in London, though. You can’t deny that people never say; “OH, I’m in London and I love it.” You’re kind of working out your Jekyll and Hyde characters the whole time. One minute you like it and then you flip “I hate this bloody place.” Females are likely to play out that escapism fantasy of getting out of London, then. But men are more likely to be in to the London thing, but I’m not trying to generalise. But women kind of on my lines start going on about how they want to get out and all of that. But I LOVE LONDON and I can talk about that in terms of music and opportunities and the whole affair. It makes you more intelligent if you live in London because you’re reacting and thinking the whole bloody time, I really believe that.

Barbara: Are you Puerto Rican by ancestry?
Doctor Becca: I’m not Puerto Rican because it’s always counterbalanced with the Englishness. A lot of people want me to be Puerto Rican. They want me to act Puerto Rican. They see something about the way you look and they want you to be something. Maybe because they have an absence in their own lives. I do find, especially with the advent of things like Salsa, some find people want me to be Puerto Rican because it’s trendy, do you know what I mean? But most people know I’m a bit English in my ways. To be honest, I’m English and that’s the most important bit. I’m English, but I’m also part Puerto Riccan and I really like that. So that’s great. You don’t really have to label yourself with any strict boundaries or identity. It’s like: I find this a lot in music, for some reason, when I talk to people, they always say; “My Dad is working class. I’m just a working class boy.” Every time these themes come up over and over again. People feel obliged to say “Look, I’m just a working class boy.” Why do people have to use those kind of words? I don’t know why it gets like that. It’s just kind of wanting to have an identity. That’s what it is, but what can you do?

Barbara: Are you very successful in the music industry?
Doctor Becca: Well, you could talk about your MEMORIES and EXPERIENCES as being your success in life. The experiences of being part of Urban Dub. Today is a new day, but you want more, so you’re driving it for more another day and more gigs and more recording, do you know what I mean? Who knows? You’re part of the kind of process. You’re engaging in it. Unless it’s sort of date and time related specifically in say 1985 or something you won a gold medal and were successful on that day. But you do music and you do music again the next day. But it is funny, what is success because is it the BAFTA awards or whatever the hell is it called? What do you win in music? Or is it MOBO? That’s a certain type of music, don’t they break it down. Yeah, they break it down and you’re in the black music. MOBO is for black music, soul and R’n’B, but exactly where would Dub music come in to this, would it be within that or would it be with bands and stuff? I think there is an award just for R’n’B soul, but I don’t think they have reggae and dub any more than they have anything else. They call it “black music”. I personally wouldn’t call it that, but for some reason they say that and I don’t really know what that means. I never used to call people “white” or “black” in London. I NEVER did that! And I find with certain people, I’m saying it more for them than for me. I often say those words for the benefit of other people. Otherwise they might not know what I mean, you know. But people who are on my wavelength don’t say that any more and so for “MOBO” they are making a distinction? Music Of Black Origin awards and they make it just for that! It’s crazy! I don’t know what it’s all about? But for Dub Reggae you don’t get awards in the same way. I mean that word B-L-A-C-K. I HAVE to use that word with certain types of people and I don’t feel good about that because that’s definitely not a word I would normally use, but I find that I’ve been sucked in to using it. Some people have said to me that they are B-L-A-C-K and made me feel like I haven’t addressed it properly, but my view is that I don’t actually see that in them, because I don’t see colours so much. It’s made me a bit closed-off because people have got this definite B-L-A-C-K thing going on. “Are you that? What religion are you? And what have you?” But whilst that’s being going on, I’ve accepted that I’m a musician who doesn’t like to hide behind barriers. I would talk to a wide range of people and go out of my comfort zone a lot more than other people would do, because I don’t really care. I don’t really care that much about it. You’re just using a word because that’s what everyone else does, you know what I mean? That’s the bit I don’t like that they don’t really have a view about it. I mean, they don’t really have to have a big political view or what have you, but isn’t it great when someone has a view? To me, I can suss that out a lot with people actually and I find it consistent over lots of areas in their life. Firstly, they can’t be bothered to think about why they are doing that, because they are sewn up in their job and that’s their whole approach to life anyway. If something shines out somewhere in your life it will shine out somewhere else, I always feel there’s some consistency going on. But you have to go along with what an individual wants to be called. You have to go along with what someone considers themselves to be, do you know what I mean? One thing I do like is doing music and I’m an academic. Otherwise I might be one of those lost souls, do you know what I mean? It all means so much, like go crazy on a Monday night. How do you get your fix of going out? Like you’re in some bum job and all you want is attention somehow. Of course I’ve done bum jobs but I DO MUSIC and that’s the most important thing that has boosted my esteem. It gives you so much. Imagine not having that, I would have all that energy, I might be some MENTAL HEAD like a crazy person who goes out every night jumping on tables and trying to cause havoc and couldn’t sit still for one moment. Emailing my friends all the time to round them up to go out on the town. But doing music contains me.

Barbara: So you’re not going to give up music any time soon?
Doctor Becca: You know, I once worked in Boots the Chemist because it gave me a function and an ordinariness that I quite liked. I really liked that idea of “Okay, here’s your lipsalve.” There’s something so nice about that. I got to the stage when I wanted to kill off my creativity. I just wanted to work, go home, put my feet up and get ready for the next day. Just a routine simple kind of life, not one where your head is full of ideas. But now I’ve accepted that, yes, I do like to write songs and play the guitar and I DO MUSIC. THAT’S HOW IT IS. I know I have to do things with the mind – like music. It’s out of boredom really. I’m gonna do a DOCTORATE because I need something to take that mental energy. In music, I can’t just rest on it and say “that’s fine. I’ve done that product.” It’s an ONGOING PROCESS. It used to frighten me that, when my esteem was down, I couldn’t get a job that allowed me to do music, but not any more. I think you get quite masterful just by planning a strategy of when am I gonna do music and do a job and the rest of that. If you actually get the chance to try something else, you go to so many different areas in your brain. You’re not gonna sit down and think “Oh what am I gonna do today with my brain?” No-one is that stupid to do that. Think about it. You really do some acrobatics with your brain, but it’s natural so you don’t really think of it as that. People say to me “Oh you’re doing a Doctorate, are you?” But I don’t really give a shit about all of that. I don’t give a damn about it. I never dreamed of doing that stuff, I only wanted to do music. I thought I would make it in six months. I remember that. I said to a friend “I’m gonna make it in six months” and I was really intent and serious about it. But it’s now taken me years and years to understand you don’t just make it in six months. I went to Drama School with someone who has done very well in terms of fame. But on the other hand, I have seen quite a few actors not even having proper parts in Eastenders. They get on Eastenders, but don’t even get proper parts, but I’m so pleased that I knew my weaknesses and I dropped out of drama school because I knew that I wasn’t going to be an actress. The pain of knowing that I’m not going to be an actress was horrible. I was very good at improvisation, but when it came to reading the scripts I was so bad. I have a feeling now that I check out situations better than when I was younger. Like things that I’ve chosen now musically or academically so I find that I’m not in a situation when I’m swamped. But I know when I was younger, I probably hadn’t thought out my expectations and I thought that I would make it in six months. If you say you’re gonna make it in six months, that just shows you’re alive. You’ve got loads of confidence. What I like about that energy is that it really gets you racing. It might not make you make it, but you certainly will end up meeting people and rubbing shoulders with people and making contacts, because you’re so brave and courageous, you know. I met a hairdresser and he introduced me to some people involved with Depeche Mode. I was full of myself, thinking; “yes, I’m gonna make it.” I ended up in their studio, but the guy from Depeche Mode was a bit sad because his girlfriend had died of cancer. That’s the sort of scenarios that can happen. I was doing some recording. Do you know Baghdad Café – it’s a film – I was doing a cover of the music and they were ready to really do something with it. But it didn’t work out with Depeche Mode, so they were probably thinking “How can we get her out of here without breaking her heart.” And it fizzled out. I was briefly signed with Perception Records and I went around different studios. That was really hard, because I didn’t really know about my singing ability and I knew that I wasn’t confident, but I wanted to make it. People said: “That sounded sassy with that”, but I didn’t know what the hell they were talking about. But I met a few people and it was just great, but I really wish that I knew my stuff. I could have just gone in there hands down and said “Did you like the singing? Let’s talk.”

Barbara: Yeah, there’s so much pressure to be successful, but you ARE a success really.
Doctor Becca: Well, that’s true. But when you’re at an impressionable age, you go to University or get a job. You have to report back to your parents and pier groups and they are like “Oh great. You are now manager of NatWest!” because it gives them something to talk about. But you go past the stage of caring about that as you get older. You realize that maybe it was never about success, it was more about the peeling back of what you were doing. Everything is to do with experience and memories. That’s a good way of looking at it. When you’re sitting in your armchair when you’re old, if you’re lucky enough to get one in the care home, it’s about looking back on memories and stuff like that.

Barbara: What is it like to go up on stage in front of all those thousands of people when you perform with Urban Dub? Aren’t you nervous?
Doctor Becca: Someone once asked me “What is it like to go up on stage and make a spectacle of yourself?” Across different cultures, it could be viewed very differently – you know – like what a strange thing to do? Why are those people on stage doing that? But I have to say that I don’t really think about it, because I know that that is just what I do. When people ask me “do you get nervous before you go on stage?” I say “I don’t bloody know. I don’t really think about it. I don’t care. Why are you asking me? What a poxy thing to give a shit about whether you are nervous or not.” Yeah, if I couldn’t actually get on the stage, then a Psychiatrist or a Doctor might say “Do you get nervous before you go on stage?” That would be fair enough, but if you’re not asking in a professional capacity, then who gives a shit whether you get nervous or not?

Barbara: Don’t you feel socially embarrassed?
Doctor Becca: In general I am always very embarrassed whenever I do anything. I’m always so aware about myself and self conscious about silly things. But if you are so hyper aware and embarrassed, then you might as well go on stage because that way you can work through it and it don’t matter. It’s strange isn’t it, because I feel that way.

Barbara: What other jobs have you done?
Doctor Becca: I’ve always thought about what jobs can I do, so that I can fit in my music. I even got a book on “Women Returners to Work” because obviously they’re gonna have a lot of part time jobs with flexible hours. But for me it wasn’t to make room for a child, it was to make room for music. So I actually got that book. How do you juggle the music with your job? You immediately have to have the eye for what to do in the morning for maybe 1 hour days. I was a Chamber Maid and I swear to god I did that because I thought it would give me solitude. Well, you might not know what Chamber Maid is, you have to make the beds and all that lot in a hotel, yeah? I started in the summer and I thought it was a great thing to do in the summer. Don’t tell anyone but I used to sit in the room after I’d done all the work and start writing my lyrics. I thought this is quite a lark, but then it got extremely tiring and, at the time, I did the Ely Jam Festival Gig. I thought “I’ve just got it easy”, but the physicality of it was exhausting and I said; “Please can I change my hours?” They weren’t happy with that, so I left and then I realised that I didn’t like that solitude, I actually liked being with people. I got confused thinking I needed that personal time to go to extremes and be a Chamber Maid and knacker yourself out just so you can sit down and have five minutes to write lyrics. But I did like it because I met a lot of international people. It was in Mayfair, so I was attracted to Mayfair because it was a top hotel and I really enjoyed it.

Barbara: Have you seen a film called "Dirty Pretty Things?"
Doctor Becca: Yeah, it’s about some immigrants who work in a hotel. Yeah, I saw that when it came out and I liked the title Dirty Pretty Things. You had to get your head around the title like “are you trying to put me off?” Then you become aware that other people have quite difficult experiences to stay in our own country and that’s something that we don’t carry around in our heads the whole time. Working in that hotel I rubbed shoulders with a lot of people who were starting out, in effect. At a subconscious level, I kind of chose to do that too. Yet again, I was trying to put my music forward and I wanted to do something new. I wanted to release my music with an investment of mind and heart.

Barbara: How’s your band “Black British Bollocks” going?
Doctor Becca: That’s fairly new, kind of thing. Me and the drummer, David Charles are going well. I’m enjoying that because it’s completely different. Obviously I’m doing Urban Dub because I’m doing Urban Dub, but I come with baggage. I’m in Urban Dub as a singer, but I also have my guitar and a drummer that have to come with me. That’s all it is really. Black British Bollocks did a gig at the Dry Bar at the Barbican. That was our first gig. I liked that because we are just a two-piece so we had to fill up the space. What was nice about it was that they actually had a stage for the drummer, so he was really put on a platform and I felt that worked really well, to highlight the fact that he is great at his drums. Then we did Criminal Records in Soho near Ronnie Scott’s. That was terrible, they wanted us to do another song but it wasn’t working for me. I just felt that it was such a bunch of rubbish. I felt really Un Rock & Roll. It was awful. But David is so resilient like me so we just left the premises and we didn’t really have anything to say. We fucked off our separate ways. You know how it happens. It’s a good gig that you’ve really enjoyed or are you resilient? Who’s got the Duracell batteries, kind of thing. David knows if I’m okay with it, he’s okay with it. Black British Bollocks are going to be recording about ten songs so I can’t wait for that. That’s very focused.

Barbara: So you like living in London and being part of Urban Dub?
Doctor Becca: I’m just like one of those social anthropologists, and I admit it’s a bit turbulent because I’m ducking and diving in all kinds of cultures, you know what I mean? And it’s probably just wonky, being quite well brought-up, buggering about, annoying people. Now I’ve put you in the picture about my love affair with London. I’m still excited about it - all the different cultures like Gospel Churches and synagogues. I could here some of the songs just walking up the street, you know that variety. Having that variety of music is like one massive candy store! When I have time on my hands, I end up in all kinds of places. I’m going here and there all the time. I go everywhere. But, as I say, my main vehicle is music, so I’m naturally going to meet a lot of people. There’s a lot of things going on in London. The music makes me feel all excited and happy. The culture is stimulating and it makes me happy. All levels of the world. It don’t matter. I don’t give a damn, I’ve got my own views and I know who I am. I respect that some people have had a hard day at work and they don’t do music. I look at everybody as if they are like me, free and happy, do you know what I mean? They are doing what they want to do. But a lot of people are certainly not following their dreams and following their hearts, you know. So I think there is something special about being able to do music.

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